Summer Lightning

"Look at me!" I said to Ms. Wonder as we sat on the lanai on an afternoon so beautiful that it would have been offensive had someone recommended a self-improvement program. The sky was that special hue that we in the islands call Carolina blue. The clouds were white, puffy, and towering. The breeze was light, the humidity low, and the bluebirds were raising the bar with mood-lifting tunes. In short, it was a typical day in County Brunswick.

"What about you?" she said but she didn't ask it with any real pizazz. Still, I wisely decided to give it a pass and continue with my presentation while I had the floor.

"I'm living a new life; one day at a time in paradise," I said.

"Oh, really?" she said.

"Don't do that," I said.

"Do what?"

"You know what I mean," I said. "Don't use that tone of voice that says you've heard it all before. It's different this time. I've had 5 full days of normalcy and it's all because of my new attitude."

"You do seem a bit chipper," she said, "but I've seen this before. What makes you think this is a new beginning?"

"Because I've got Princess Amy on board," I said.

"Get out!" she said with full incandescence because when she placed her hands on my chest and pushed, I fell base over apex across the potted palm causing Sagi, the caramel-colored tabby to give me a wide-eyed stare similar to the one that Hamlet must have given his father's ghost.

Once, I picked myself up and dusted myself off, I raised myself to full height and stared down with bruised dignity. I saw in her eyes that she felt remorse for my tumble even though it was clearly unintended on her part. This, I reasoned, gave me the high ground.

"I'm feeling good about it," I said.

"Of course," she said, "and you should."

She had a new attitude, of course. I continued with renewed vigor. Is it vigor? I think that's the word.

"Yes, sir, feeling good from my head to my shoes," I said.

"I think I know where this is going," she said with an apologetic smile.

"Yes," I said, "it was a difficult lesson to learn, but the wires are now uncrossed and the tables are turned in my favor."

"Any worries?" she said.

"Very few," I said. "Why worry when I've got you?"

"Be ready," she said, "because you know that dark skies and rain will come."

"Life comes hard and fast," I said. "The only thing that's changed is me, not the world I live in. Tears will come but what do I care as long as I have you?"

I was on a roll and it felt good. I continued.

"I think I've changed for good," I said. "A brand new attitude. Obstacles will come but we'll get by, as long as we have each other."

With that said, she gave me a little punch on the arm. A playful little punch but due to my standing on one leg at the time and the loud report from a nearby thundercloud, I took another tumble.

She couldn't hold back this time. She laughed like a paper bag exploding.

Loving The Spin That I'm In

Yesterday was one of those days you want to take home to meet Mom. And when I say yesterday I mean the whole long day. It began with a bright sky and mockingbirds singing, not just one of their Billboard Top 10 tunes, but an entire album of songs that qualified for Emmy nominations.

That may not seem like a big deal to you but it's a rarity for me. I told Ms. Wonder about it this morning over coffee at Port City Cafe. No real point in telling her; she already knows all there is to know about the Genome. Still...

"Let's hope today is the same," she said with her usual optimism. She's a gem, that one, with her positive outlook and her moxie. I wonder why the Universe allowed me to get ensconced in her life. It seems too good to be true and yet there I am.

The whole thing seems wondrous to me even after all these years. You probably remember the story I told in a previous post about getting trapped by the safety belt in my car on our first date. Surely you remember. I'd look it up now if I were you and not familiar with the story. You can always come back to this post after you've come up-to-date with events.

If you're one of the regulars who hang onto every word I write, then you'll understand why, after that first date, on the very next visit to her office with the corporate rent check (it's something we did back in the day), she told me that she knew I loved her and that I wanted her for my own and that she would--and she made it perfectly clear--that she would be my wife.

I was shocked of course. Not what I was expecting at all when delivering the specie to the landlady. But what could I do? A parfait knight like the Genome does not leave a woman dangling. She had stated in no uncertain terms that she would walk the aisle with me while the organ played "The Voice That Breathed O'er Eden." 

I did what any gentleman would do. "Oh, that's settled then," I said. "Do you prefer a large or small wedding?"

Unfortunately, that particular wedding wasn't to be; not yet at least. A hurricane was spotted loitering around in the Gulf and we made hasty plans to hightail it to Arkansas--Hot Springs as I recall. The nuptials came about a year later.

But as I was saying earlier, on this day she offered her blessings for an enjoyable day and I was grateful as always. She and the Universe share a special bond, being almost best friends since they first met on this side of the veil. Still, I was doubtful and I told her so.

"I'm not expecting the day to turn out so pleasant," I said. "The feeling I have is like the one I felt on the day I entered Doyle Jaynes's apartment and found every flat surface covered in pizza boxes and the floor strewn with soda cans."

"I'm sorry," she said.

"The worst part is that the air is heavy with the stench of stale tobacco and Frank Sinatra is singing something about round and round, down and down.”

"What are you talking about?" she said looking as though I'd just admitted to keeping ferrets. "Stale tobacco? Sinatra?"

"Oh, sorry," I said. "What I mean is that the air in my mind smells of tobacco, etc."

She nodded and then stirred her cappuccino thoughtfully. "Can I ask you something?" she said.

“Of course," I said.

"Are you ever happy? Really happy?"

We looked at each other for a long moment while I search the data banks for the most recent spot of happiness.

"I was happy when Port City made me the customer-of-the-month for April," I said.

"Yes, but that was fleeting. Do you ever have extended periods of happiness?"

"We had this discussion just recently," I said. "Remember, the dogs in the park, sniffing butts, carrying sticks, and chasing balls?"

She gave me a look like the one she wore when her best girlfriend decided to quit her job in Houston to go wait tables in an ice house in Bandera.

"Where can I go but to the Lord?" she said and I thought it must be a rhetorical question and so left it lying there. 

I knew the question was loaded with something but not being sure of what, I struggled to find the correct response.

"Well, yes," I said, "we didn't resolve anything that day either if that's what you're getting at." 

Ms. Wonder

I saw her standing there in the lobby on my first day working at 1120 NASA Road 1 in Houston, and the way she looked was way beyond compare. She looked my way and our eyes meet for just one moment. That's all it took. I knew that before too long I'd fall in love with her and she'd become Ms. Wonder.

Paris of Troy must have felt the same when he first saw Helen.

Before I got the nerve to ask her out, I spent several lonely nights behind the wheel of my automobile, cruising around town and listening to the radio with no particular place to go.

The day came when I walked into her office and walked across the room to ask her for a date. My heart went BOOM when she said yes. After that first dinner, I was anxious to tell her how I felt and my heart went BOOM again when she told me she felt the same way. 

Cleopatra must have felt the same when Marc Antony first came calling.

Eventually, we drove past the metroplex and realized that Moonstruck was playing on the big screen. We parked with a few minutes to spare before the movie began and it was then that I stole a kiss. At that moment I knew that my lonely nights were in the past and that I'd never dance with anyone else again.

Napoleon must have felt the same when Josephine first smiled at him.

The night was still young and the moon was gold so we decided to take a stroll before the show began. Imagine my surprise when I couldn't unfasten my safety belt. And so we spent that first evening together, she sitting next to me at the wheel, cruising around town and listening to the radio with no particular place to go. 

We've been to many places together and made many happy memories. I wouldn't have it any other way. Tomorrow we will visit the districts of Wilmington, cruising around and listening to the radio with no particular place to go. 

Life is good, especially with Wonder in it.

Just Whistle!

I found Ms. Wonder sitting at a table outside Port City Cafe and I noticed right away that she'd made a pleasing choice. The table was shaded from the heat of the already high morning sun and a cooling sea breeze seemed intent on proving that the Universe was looking out for our best interests. All things considered, every prospect was pleasing.

I'd hoped to surprise her because she'd said goodbye to me only a few minutes before and had expected me to be on my way to Crystal Cove. But I'd changed my mind about that. The spirit was willing but the flesh was weak.

"Of all the coffee joints in all the towns in all the world and you have to walk into mine," she said. 

"Is it yours?" I said. "I didn't know you'd invested in the globally grown and Carolina roasted."

"Not mine in the sense that I own it, goofball; mine in the sense that it's the one I chose for the new blue wave smoothie. Delicious," she said, "Try it."

"Maybe later," I said. "Right now I need 16 ounces of steaming God's mercy."

"I see that you failed to leave for the Cove like you planned. Getting a late start?"

"Not going," I said.

She gave me one of her looks. It was the look she reserves for occasions when she's with someone who's just announced they've taken up raising Cocker Spaniels.

"Talking it out usually helps," she said. "Want to talk about it?"

"Thank you for the generous offer," I said, "but you've heard it before girlfriend; I feel that when I stopped to smell the roses, the number 14 bus moved on and left me behind. Now I'm living in the past and I feel that I don't belong here in this decade. Don't get me wrong; it's a beautiful world with all prospects pleasing--except man, of course. Humanity, Poopsie, that's one bad apple for you."

"I may be able to help with all that," she said. "May I offer a suggestion?"

"Please," Wonder, "that's why I sought you out. I knew you'd have something to make it all better. But if you're thinking of saying something along the lines of, don't worry be happy, just give it a miss for my sake."

 "The secret to living in the world you desire," she said, "is to give up fighting everything. Stop the negative criticism and sarcasm, and accept everything exactly as it comes to you."

"This I take it is the live life on life's terms strategy," I said and I meant for her to understand that I'd heard all this before and had no room left for more of it.

"Not exactly," she said. "It's like this: The organizing principle of the Universe is cause and effect. Your world, as it exists now is the result of your thoughts and beliefs. There's no point in trying to change the world or the people or the circumstances around you. The secret is to change your point of view and see the world differently. As soon as you do that, the world will automatically change. In quantum physics, it's called the observer effect."

"I know about the observer effect in q physics," I said, "and I'm sure that it doesn't apply to the principle of visualizing the world you want, and voila, there it is."

"Why not give it chance anyway? Many happy people use this technique every day. You've been struggling to change your life for quite a while now. It seems that Princess Amy has taken up long-term residence in your head even though she arrived without invitation."

She paused here and gave me a kind, encouraging look. That look worked wonders. The sunlight pierced the heavy fog inside my head and brightened up my outlook for the day. This is an example of those wonders that she mysteriously performs.

With the mood soaring somewhere above the clouds, I remembered something I'd read somewhere--something about people living in darkness. It went something like this, 'on those living in the land of deep darkness a light has dawned.' Probably Shakespeare or Billy Joel maybe.

I must have been lost in thought because I remember the feeling that I was floating to the surface and realized that Ms. Wonder was still speaking.

 "You have nothing to lose if it doesn't work for you. Try a little experiment and see what happens."

"A little experiment, hunh?" I said. "Why not? Like you say, I have nothing to lose. Alright, Wonder, I'll give it my best effort; six weeks sounds like a fair amount of time. Yes, I feel good about it. I'll do it. Thanks for the suggestion."

"I'm happy to bring satisfaction," she said. "If I can be of further help, just whistle and I'll be there."

She turned as if to leave me and I expected her to blow away like the breeze but it didn't happen. As if in afterthought, she turned back to me and I noticed a twinkle in her eye that wasn't there a moment before. She looked into my eyes and a smile played across her face as she said, 

"You do know how to whistle, don't you?"

Well, we Genomes are quick to spot an opportunity to impress and entertain, and it was with me the work of an instant to put my two pinkies in my mouth and blow. I've learned that this maneuver is guaranteed to impress all bystanders.

It was a whistle that impressed the heck out of me but she was unmoved and perhaps a little disappointed.

"No," she said, "that's not the whistle I'm expecting. What will make me happy will be for you to simply put your lips together and blow."

Having said that she demonstrated the technique and produced the sweetest, most exquisite little note I've ever heard. She then made her exit and left me feeling that I was sitting on top of the world with a bluebird on my shoulder. I don't suppose that I'd ever come closer to singing "Zip a Dee Do Dah!"

The Invitation

The door to the sal de bains opened and she emerged like Venus rising from the sea. 

"Is it morning already?" I said. 

"It's afternoon," she said. "You were napping, remember?"

"Oh, yes, of course," I said. "But why is it so gray outside?"

"There was a brief shower," she said, "but it's hot outside and there's a heavy mist. Summertime at the coast is a season of sultry mistiness."

"A season of what?"

"Sultry mistiness," she said.

"Well, we are at the coast, of course," I said, "and I'm not yet attuned to the weather patterns, which are much different from that of the steppes of the Carolina Triangle. But I'll have to take your word for the sultry mistiness."

She shrugged but made not a peep.

"I'm moving slowly this afternoon, Poopsie. Sagi kept me up 'till all hours last night."

I referred to the cat; the caramel-colored tabby who is addicted to rolls of paper and sometimes finds dispensers of paper towels or toilet tissue to be so tempting as to overpower his will. He backslid last night. Not the first time.

"Let me get you one of my pick-me-ups," she said. "I have one prepared in the fridge."

After tossing the concoction down the hatch and recovering from the momentary feeling that the head was going to explode, I felt much better and ready for whatever the day might bring.

"Any recent developments to attend to?" I said.

"Lupe texted to say that you're needed in the Cove. She didn't offer any details as to why."

"They never do, Poopsie. They know I avoid the place due to my allergic reaction to it."

"You're allergic to Crystal Cove? she said.

"I am," I said. "The air there seems to be filled with some dark matter or other that clings to me until reaching critical mass when there's a loud pop and bits of the fabric of reality fill the air like confetti. And somehow, everyone points the finger at me."

The remark earned me another of her patented looks but I chose to ignore it. I felt a strong need for a seltzer to equalize the effect of that elixir of hers. These things lift one's spirits to the sticking point making an impression on the willpower that suggests anything is possible. But they also suggest that one has experienced the impossible. I prefer to dilute them as soon as they've worked their wonders.

When Reason was restored to her throne, I realized that as much as I wanted to ignore the summons, it came from my favorite denizen of Crystal Cove, Lupe, my god-niece. She sent the request and you know as well as I that I have no choice but to comply.

I'll leave tonight and contact you tomorrow when I learn the reason for the invitation. Something to set hell's foundations shaking I imagine.