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It's a Native Thing

"Nice coffee mug," said Claudia. "You must be a huge fan of Christmas."

I looked at it. The mug I mean. The background color is a striking red and it has large white snowflakes adorning the sides. I suppose I can understand why people think it signals the holiday. Be my guest.


"I drink from it throughout the winter season, I said, and I'm still under the care of Feldspar, my winter guide. Not that he has anything to do with my choice of drink joy, but still, there it is.

"Feldspar? Is that your spirit guide," she asked.

"He's a rock troll," I said, "and I suppose you could say that he's my spirit guide, and possibly get away with that in some circles, but he prefers to be called a sponsor."

"Sponsor?" she said.

And so here it was again. Every time I try to give someone insight into the life of yours truly, I run into the mountainlike obstacle, that the Genome life is somewhat alien. Maybe I'm a pod-person, I don't know. It just seems like a lot of trouble, a waste of breath, before I get to the point I want to make.

But this Claudia is a good egg and I want to be courteous and understanding. Her best friend, who happens to be another good egg and my god-neice, is also with us in Native Grounds this morning and I certainly don't want to embarrass her. I also don't want to cross her because she's my greatest ally when it comes to Genome's foreign policy.

"I've walked the Chatsford Forest for the past three summers," I explained. "I have a routine. As soon as I enter the edge of the forest, I turn to face the east and sing a song of gratitude to the dawn. Makes me happy and makes for a good day to die."

"A good what?" she said.

"Oh, sorry," I said and I was thinking that at this rate we'll never get to the end of the blog post.

"No need to freak," I said. "It's not what you think; it's an Indian thing. You might think of it as Native American or indigenous. But this is all diverting and we don't have time to go into it right now. My coffee's getting cold."

"Oh, of course," she said. "I remember hearing that phrase once before. A good day to die. Meaning that I've lived without accumulating regret and all amends have been made. Got it."

"Well, once I've completed my Fierce Qigong salutations, I'm immersed in exoteric nature and I'm in the Daoist zone. I'm ready to set out on the path that hugs Gazebo Lagoon and takes me to my rock on the banks of Fountain Lagoon."

"Right," she said. "I understood less than half of what you just said but I'm getting a whispy gist of it I think."

A quick glance at Lupe told me that she was enjoying this repartee immensely. Her eyes were wide as saucers and there was a distinct glow of glee on her map. I'm sure she was hoping for a total bust-up, ending with a wet smack and a complete miss. But I continued.

"I met Mockingbird a few summers ago when I found her high atop the welcome sign near the community center. She was singing to raise the sun but still finding the time to catch reckless mosquitos that drifted up from the marsh below."

"The way you say Mockingbird makes me think she was a guide too," said Claudia.

"That's right," I said. "After hearing her story about being responsible for starting each day by waking the sun with her song--I'm talking about Mockingbird--I felt called to ask her to sponsor me; or to be my guide if that's the way you're bent. She graciously accepted my request to become her disciple, but she suggested that I might want to take additional precautions by introducing myself to Rock and asking for his support as well."

"I must admit to being quite skeptical of becoming dependent on a rock until she reminded me of a scripture I'd learned as a child at a time when children still learned such things. The verse she quoted went something like this, 

"The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and..., my strength, in whom I will trust."

"There it is. There was no decision to make. It was laid out for me in. no uncertain terms."

"And so I followed the path that led to the banks of Fountain Lagoon and there he was, my Rock. And just as Mockingbird suggested, he is always there for me, always. Each day, I greet him with a handshake (or the equivalent; more like a pat, actually). I express my gratitude that he's there for me and then I'm ready for anything that life may offer up."

"But what about, Feldspar?" she asked.

"Oh, right. Sorry," I said. "Didn't mean to leave Feldspar dangling like that. Rock introduced us. Actually, Feldspar showed up one day and introduced himself but he said that Rock had recommended he do so. We've been pals ever since."

"You have an interesting life, Genome," she said.

"Interesting, yes," I said, "but a bit of a jumble from time to time."

I glanced at Lupe--you didn't forget that Lupe was among those present? I looked at her and found her holding her head in her hands and shaking it back and forth. I asked if she felt light-headed and offered to get her a cookie but she waved the suggestion away.

And so, dear reader, there you have it. The subject of this post emerges from the words in exactly the same way that consciousness emerges from the collapse of the quantum wave function, i.e.


And there it is. The subject of this post emerges from the lines of this post in exactly the same way that consciousness emerges from the collapse of the wave function according to the math function that serves as the foundation of quantum mechanics.

Life Keeps Bringing Me Back

"Lupe, do you think that Animal Control always uses humane methods to solve a critter problem? Do you think they relocate the animals and do you think that if the miscreants are cats and dogs and such, do you think they try to find homes for them?"

I probably should have said
Good morning or How are you when I entered Cafe Luna but I'd been thinking about animal control all the way from Leland, and what with the Memorial Bridge closed, the trip had taken much longer than usual.

"Hold on," she said. "Take a deep breath, please. What's this all about anyway? Do you have an animal problem?"

"You don't know how happy I am to hear you say the word,  anyway, instead of anyways. Do you realize that almost everyone says anyways today? I know it's becoming socially acceptable but it's considered incorrect by dictionaries. And what other trusted authoritative source do we have?"

"Genome!" she said. "Get a grip; chillax, or whatever it is your generation uses. You're hypomanic and I'm not going to have this conversation with you unless you calm down. Now, don't say anything for a few seconds and ask Amy to close her eyes and think of alpine meadows."

If you're not familiar with Princess Amy, then where have you been for the last 12 years? I don't have time to go into it now, but you can always find her by using the search feature at the top of this blog page.

Now, let's get back to the story...

I stopped talking for a moment. I took a breath. I suggested to Amy that she think of alpine meadows full of flowers and I may have used the term, blanketed with flowers. I'm not sure why unless I've heard that term somewhere before.

We writers do like to be original but we recognize that we are nothing without those who came before us. Our minds it seems move along grooves laid down long ago by those who continue to inspire us. You might say that we find them groovy.

At any rate, I followed Lupe's suggestion and had a talk with Amy. Bite me! " she said. Amy said those words, not Lupe. Lupe would never. At least I think she wouldn't. It was Amy, who was so rude and I thought it most rude considering how close we've become lately. 

Opening my eyes, having returned from my meditative encounter with the little tyrant, I found that I still had the floor and so continued with my rant. Would you call it a rant? Seems a bit harsh but perhaps it's on point.

"Using the wrong word or phrase is becoming universally accepted," I said. "I seldom hear anyone use the word, fewer, even in advertising copy. In fact, I've heard TV advertising talking about less friends, less interruptions, and less annoying interruptions.

As far as that last bit is concerned, I'd think that less annoying interruptions would be preferred over the opposite."

"People often get confused," said Claudia, "about whether the term you and I should be used or if the correct term is you and me. It depends on the context, of course, but you knew that didn't you?"

Did I mention that Claudia was among those accounted for? Well, she was, and I was beginning to feel that this young woman had the right stuff. She seemed to understand exactly where I was going with my observations.

"Claudia," said Lupe, "don't encourage him. This all started with a question about animal control, remember?"

"That's right," I said, "animal control. Like when you have squirrels in the attic or raccoons in the basement."

"Squirrels in the attic?" said Lupe. "Is your problem squirrels in the attic, or bats in the belfry? Do you need animal control or is it Princess Amy control that you need?"

I sighed and gave the whole affair a moment of reflection. Not too unlike the meditative moment I mentioned above but without engaging Amy.

"Right," I said. "Thank you, Lupe. I misjudged you. I apologize."

"You know I'm always here for you, she said.

"Me too," said Claudia.

"And I'm eternally grateful," I said. And after another moment of reflection, I said, 

"Life keeps bringing me back to you, no matter what I do. It seems to have a mind of its own."






The Explanation

My two friends returned to our table in Cafe Luna with caffeine reinforcements and I took a deep breath to calm the anxious mind. I knew Claudia would have a lot of questions and I knew that I wouldn't have answers for them all. I could only hope that Lupe would be able to smooth any rough spots that I left in conversation.


"I don't understand," said Claudia. "Death's assistant? Does that mean you have something to do with people dying?"

Lupe gave her a concerned look and placed the palm of her hand on Claudia's forehead.

"Oh, no," I said. "Of course not. We simply facilitate the soul's ascension by helping it get to the right person."

"What about the sewer harpies or whatever? What's that got to do with it."

"Maybe I should begin with how I got involved in the first place. You see, a few years ago I read a novel called Dirty Job. The author is Christopher Moore."

"He wrote Lust Lizard," she said.

"That's right."

"And Sequined Love Nun."

"Yes, well in Dirty Job the main character is recruited to become a soul merchant. That's the name used in the book. I don't particularly like it but there it is.

Anyway, I loved the book and think of it often because of some of the strange events that happen in my daily life. Eventually, I realized that my life parallels the main character in the book.

The more I thought about it, the more I seemed to be living a life much like Charlie Asher's. He's the main character."

"Wow," said Claudia. "This reminds me of the Will Farrell movie, Stranger Than Fiction. In that movie, the main character is living a story that is being written by a fiction author."

"Hmm," I said for she had interested me strangely with this idea of actually living a life that is the storyline in a novel. "Tell me more," I said.

"Well, he's living a normal life it seems, until he begins hearing a voice narrating his life in real-time, sort of."

"Incredulous!" I said.

"Incredible," said Lupe.

"Exactly," I said. "Sounds so much like my life."

"No it doesn't," said Lupe. "It sounds nothing like your life unless you throw away all the backstory that we already know about you and Princess Amy."

"And don't forget the hypothalamus," I said. "I watched an episode of Closer to the Truth last night and discovered that the behaviors resulting from Princess Amy's analyses are initiated by the hypo-T." 

"Whatever!" said Lupe. "You're not living a story in a book of fiction. It's much more complex and a lot deeper than that. 

I'll give you the full rundown after dinner tonight," she said to Claudia.

"Deeper and more complex?" said Claudia. "I'm sorry, Genome it sounds serious, but don't worry, I'm confident that Lupe and I can help you with it. Keep confident and it will all work out."

I must admit, her cheerful attitude and generous offer to be a member of the Genome team did help to lift my spirit. I realized that I don't have to go through all this alone. I felt much better. 

A few moments of silence passed with the two girls looking at each other as if to say, What now? 

"What now?" said Claudia.

"My mom says that it's either get a barista job at Starbucks or enroll in Cape Fear Community College," said Lupe.

That's when I realized that these two downtown girls were in the middle of a dilemma of their own. I decided to hang around and listen for a change. You never know when you're going to learn something by simply paying attention. 

And besides, perhaps I could contribute something to the conversation to make them feel better. Stranger things have happened.

Don't Encourage Her

It was the sudden onset of a manic episode that caused me to miss the turn onto Hillsboro Road. But after a short diversion I finally crossed the covered bridge and arrived at the Inn of the Three Sisters in Pittsboro. Just as the threatening clouds decided to stop bluffing, roll up their sleeves and get down to it.




As we pulled into a parking space near the entrance, I gaged the volume of the downpour and having considered this and that, decided to wait it out. After what seemed like a couple of moments, the 11 year-old geezer in the passenger seat asked, "Why do you talk like that?"

I don't need to tell you that her remark wasn't the start of the conversation. I like that about you--that I don't need to explain every little thing. Now that I think of it, why don't you join us one morning at Native Grounds for coffee. It's in the Renaissance District, near Southpoint. The tribe would love to meet you.

I was taken back by the question she asked but I leaned into it. 

"And why, Lucy," I said, "do you continue to ask the same question that I've answered again and again?" 

And yes, I know you're thinking that I shouldn't call her by the name she doesn't like, but sometimes, well, sometimes you just..oh you know what I mean.

"No," she said, "I'm not talking about the stupid way you put sentences together. What I mean is that your manic fits don't have anything to do with thunderstorms."

Well! I mean! I gasped, and I'm sure you can guess why. I mean, just what the hell did she mean 'stupid way of putting sentences together,' and did she really use the term, manic fits? Manic fits! And did I really say out loud that I missed the turn because of a manic episode?

"For the last time, you ankle-biter, I don't have fits! I do experience emotional interruptions to the cognitive circuits, but much like electrical surges. Sometimes the mental clocks begin blinking and need resetting after such a surge but no real harm."

"Unless your mental phone is plugged into a mental outlet and gets mentally fried," she said.

"Lucy Lupe Mankiller!" I said and I meant every last word. I fully intended to stop this charging tween in her tracks and I knew those three words would do it.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," she said, letting me know that she'd had enough of the subject for now.

I think this is a good place to stop and reassure you that there is no permanent rift between the Genome and his god-niece. We're forever teammates. We do get our feathers in twist from time to time but it never lasts.

Keep the faith, my friend. This sacred pilgrimage continues for its eighth year and the joy continues with it.





Looking Back

This post is meant only for me and for the members of the Den of the Secret Nine. I doubt that anyone else will be interested but I include these statistics here because these records are important to me and I can't seem to keep up with my notes when I save them offline.


If you're one of the few readers who are interested in such things as this, please leave a comment.

March 1, 2024

The oldest post on The Circular Journey blog is dated February 22, 2012. A few older posts were deleted to eliminate any evidence that may be used against me. Always a prudent precaution.

At any rate, this blog is now twelve years old. Happy birthday to The Circular Journey and happy birthday to my father, Genome Senior.

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