The dawn of another day crept upon
the SoDu. Minute by minute the light grew stronger as it made its way along
Coronado Lane until it filtered in the window of my bedroom. It would have awakened
me from slumber had I been in bed but I wasn't of course. I'm always up and
doing by the time dawn arrives. The early bird I'm sometimes called. Getting
around the morning worm and all that.
The sun was dimly conscious of
finding my bed empty on previous mornings. I say 'dimly' because it's been some
little time since the day began with an appearance from the sun. Spring break
for him probably. Doing a little surfing on Top Sail Island I shouldn't wonder.
That’s where I’d be given the chance.
I'm told that few things have the
tonic effect on a man accustomed to being a little slow to wake as the
discovery that he has stolen a prize pig overnight. I would dispute that. I had
not stolen such a prize but I was tonic-ed to the gills. I waded through an
incoming tide of cats to get to the door of the sal de bains. I opened it and stepped into the tropical environment
of Ms. Wonder's bath.
The river pebbles underfoot were
slippery and I held to the palm fronds to keep from falling as I made my way to
the sound of falling water. Eventually, I found myself on the edge of a deep,
clear pool. Eddy the cat was licking a paw and when he saw me gave a yawn and
turned his back.
"Don't be smug," I said,
"It doesn't suit you." She was seated on a flat boulder in the middle of the
bath, not too near the plunging water. I called to her above the roar of the
falls.
"Wonder," I said,
"Hell's foundations are shaking."
She turned the water off so we could
hear each other.
"What?" she said.
"We've got to rally round
Tiger," I said, "She needs us."
"Why? What's wrong?" she
said.
"I’ll tell you what’s
wrong," I said, "She’s headed for a rubber room at the laughing
academy, that's what's wrong."
“I will not listen to that kind of
talk,” she said. “You of all people should be more considerate. How would you
like it if people spoke of you like that? Remember, people who live in glass
houses.”
I mused on this for a moment but
could not think of a single person silly enough to live in such a house.
This is probably a good time to
pause and offer five cents of backstory for the newcomers. This Tiger mentioned
above is my very best closer-than-a-sister friend. She has never abandoned me
no matter how dark the skies nor threatening the v-shaped depressions. I’m sure
you will fully understand my concern over her recent bizarre behavior.
“Just tell me why you’re concerned
about Tiger,” she said.
“First,” I said, “let me warn you
that what I’m about to say includes depictions of graphic violence.”
She waved a hand indicating that I
had the floor and should continue.
“As you well know,” I said, “This
Tiger is no stranger to wild, impulsive behavior. I mean she rides a motorcycle
for one thing and she is married to the Cowboy, which tells you something right
there.”
Her eyes met mine and we shared a
meaningful look.
“But until recently, her behavior
has been confined to the normal range of lunacy. In the last few days, however,
and follow me very closely here because this is the seminal point, that has all
changed.”
“Imagine if you will, Tiger lounging
on the sofa watching marathon episodes of Murder
She Wrote.”
“Yes,” agreed the Wonder, “or Big Bang.”
“As you say, Murder She Wrote or The Big
Bang Theory. Doesn’t matter which. Then during the commercial break, she
rises from the couch to wander aimlessly into the kitchen and then suddenly she
whirls around and, with a kung-fu shout, rips the door off a wall cabinet and
throws it out the window.”
I thought this statement might get a
reaction out of her and I was not wrong. She stared at me for several
seconds as though waking from a dream. Then slowly her eyes grew larger and
rounder. Her lips parted as though she would speak but nothing came out.
“I haven't been there to witness
this behavior but she speaks openly of it, as though it were just everyday
behavior. Imagine how difficult it must be for the Cowboy to come home from
work each day and deal with the aftermath.”
The Wonder remained silent.
“In a recent episode, she ripped a
cupboard off the wall. I know! When I spoke to her about it, she mumbled
something and I can't be absolutely sure of this but I believe she has plans to
tear out the sink.”
“The sink?” she said.
“In the beginning, she must have
known something wasn't quite right about her behavior because she didn't speak
of it in public. Now she posts pictures on Facebook! I am very worried.”
“But how did all this begin?" she asked. "I mean
there’s usually some gateway behavior isn’t there? Childhood tea parties leading
to binge drinking at the corner tavern—that sort of thing?”
“Well," I said, "we can never be sure about
causal relationships, can we? Still, I think this must surely have something to do with
the Cowboy falling through the kitchen ceiling.”
“I’m sorry?” she said.
“Oh he’s unhurt,” I said. “Nothing
to worry about. Just a few scratches.”
“I mean,” she said, and I thought
she seemed to be hotting up, “what or why did he fall through the ceiling?”
“Well, you’ve got me there, not
really sure but you know the Cowboy—he works in mysterious ways his wonders to
perform. The point is, he crashed through the kitchen ceiling and something
must have clicked inside her. I think she's out of control.”
“I know she would stoutly deny it if
asked. Probably say that she can stop anytime she likes. You know how that
story goes. But I'm not buying it. I'm convinced that she's in the grip of a
disorder. If it feels good to knock off a cabinet door, then it will bring joy
unconfined to smash the countertops with a sledgehammer. If pulling a
cupboard down lightens the heart, then pushing the fridge off the back porch will
bring ecstasy. Where does it all stop?”
“I think an intervention is called
for,” she said and I thought the drama was a bit thick but her heart was in the right place.
“My thoughts too,” I said.
And so the Wonder and I put together a
plan to call all our friends, confront Tiger before she leaves for work this
morning, and get her into rehab at Habitat For Humanity Restore. Life comes
hard and fast, as I’m sure I don’t need to tell you, but we can get through the
hard times if we only stick together.
You’ve been here for us, Tiger, and
we will be there for you. Count on it.
