It was the Emperor of Woodcroft, as beneficent a tyrant as you can find nowadays. I joined him in line feeling that if one cup was good then another would be even better.
"Ho!" he said in the manner of an English copper. I didn't like it. The tone was all wrong. "Swilling cocktails, eh?" he said.
I could make nothing of this. "I fail to understand you," I said. "Correct me if I'm wrong but isn't this the hour one might expect to hear, 'Good morning?"
"Out on the tiles to all hours?" he said.
I bridled at the accusation, at least I think I bridled. I'm not sure of the word's meaning but it sounds good and I've heard it used under similar circumstances.
"You will have to provide more detail," I said while correcting my posture and smoothing the gig line of my shirt to show that I was above all his jibber-jabber. "And I look forward to hearing the explanation. I'm sure it will hold me spellbound."
"I mean you were probably out carousing, getting home just before dawn and waking the entire neighborhood. That's what I mean, Mr. Hoitie-Toitie."
This remark got me hotted up to near incandescent. The nerve! The impertinence! Again, not sure of the definition but I'm pretty sure it's in the neighborhood of my meaning.
"It could scarcely have been later than two when I got home and I was seeing an old friend off to spend the holiday in the Catskills." And I'm sure I said it with topspin to qualify for hauteur.
"Did you have a cold shower this morning?" he asked giving me the full effect of one eye.
"I have hot water," I said.
"Did you do Swedish exercises before breakfast?"
"I'm Danish," I said, "and we don't indulge in such excess. At least my grandfather was Danish and I believe that entitles me to make the same claim."
"Then why do you look like something from the chorus of a touring revue?" he said.
"Ah," I said, "that's easy enough to answer. I just need a second cup of Jah's mercy. That's why I'm in line."
He seemed to consider this but after a few seconds, his inward gaze looked out again and settled in the vicinity of the lower portions of my map. His expression was one generally found on someone who has just found caterpillars in the salad.
"Ho!" he said, "what's that?"
"It could scarcely have been later than two when I got home and I was seeing an old friend off to spend the holiday in the Catskills." And I'm sure I said it with topspin to qualify for hauteur.
"Did you have a cold shower this morning?" he asked giving me the full effect of one eye.
"I have hot water," I said.
"Did you do Swedish exercises before breakfast?"
"I'm Danish," I said, "and we don't indulge in such excess. At least my grandfather was Danish and I believe that entitles me to make the same claim."
"Then why do you look like something from the chorus of a touring revue?" he said.
"Ah," I said, "that's easy enough to answer. I just need a second cup of Jah's mercy. That's why I'm in line."
He seemed to consider this but after a few seconds, his inward gaze looked out again and settled in the vicinity of the lower portions of my map. His expression was one generally found on someone who has just found caterpillars in the salad.
"Ho!" he said, "what's that?"
"What?" I said, passing a hand across my face.
"You don't wear a beard," he said in the tone of an accusation."
"I don't wear a beard and I'm happy about it. Too many beards taking up space now. I haven't seen so many beavers since the days of Edward the Confessor."
"Ho!" he said. "Real men wear beards and your face would benefit from a mustache as well."
"I wore a mustache for years when younger," I said, and it looked horrible, much like a soup stain."
"I wore a mustache for years when younger," I said, and it looked horrible, much like a soup stain."
"What does Ms. Wonder think of it?" he said.
"Of what? My shaving?"
"I'm sure a bit of facial hair would provide much-needed relief to someone who spends more than a few minutes in your presence."
"I'm sure a bit of facial hair would provide much-needed relief to someone who spends more than a few minutes in your presence."
"What does it matter what others think?" I said and I was now aware that others were listening and I felt the conversation was becoming a bit sticky. I was ready to change the subject.
"That's good. She doesn't like it. You'll have to grow some hair. Take a few days off and get away is my advice. You'll probably look like Rasputin until the stuff grows in."
I will not stop shaving," and I'm finished with this conversation. J'y suis, j'y reste about sums it up for me. The barista is waiting for your order.
"That's good. She doesn't like it. You'll have to grow some hair. Take a few days off and get away is my advice. You'll probably look like Rasputin until the stuff grows in."
I will not stop shaving," and I'm finished with this conversation. J'y suis, j'y reste about sums it up for me. The barista is waiting for your order.
He shrugged his shoulders. "Up to you, of course, if you want to be an eyesore."
"An eyesore!"
"Eyesore is what I said."
I suddenly felt the need to practice the three deep breaths. First breath, power, and balance to be ready for whatever life brings my way. Second breath to remind me that I am enough for the present circumstances. Third breath to recognize that there is more good than bad at this moment.
"Ho!" he said, "what's that on your chin?"
But this is where you came in I believe.