Indigo Wonder

It's like this," I said, explaining to Ms. Wonder why I was having trouble keeping up with her photography exhibits. "It's the sewer harpies I mentioned before. They're agents of pure evil, and they seem to be getting stronger. I think it has something to do with my giving up the reselling business."

Princess Amy

She closed her eyes, lifted her chin a couple of inches, and held up a hand, palm open as if to ward off any negative energy I might be emitting.

"If you're going on about soul vessels, Celtic goddesses, and Charlie Asher, just stop now. Your agents of evil are nothing more than Princess Amy. In fact, Amy is simply another term for your dysfunctional limbic system, but I can work with that." 

"But...," she continued, "listen carefully because what I'm about to say is the most important part. You need to understand this—there are no sewer harpies." 

"Mabd is the worst of them," I replied. "I can handle Macha and Nemain, but Mabd is pure evil." 

"Amy is just making all this up," the Wonder said, ignoring my comment. "You're blowing things out of proportion—these are just random events that have Amy worked up, and she tells you it's supernatural."

"I’ve heard all of that before," I said. "I’ve considered it and even believed it, or, if not truly believed it, I accepted it as good enough to get on with. I’ve told you before that it’s not the events themselves but how frequently they keep occurring that bothers me. Like the Demon King."

Once again, I saw eye-rolling, a lifted chin, and a deep breath, followed by an open palm. It reminded me of Arnold Schwarzenegger's famous line, "Talk to the hand."

"Let's get grounded, shall we?" asked the Wonder. She wasn't making a suggestion; she was getting down to business, and I realized paying attention would be in my best interest.

"First," she continued, "we need to address the demon king once and for all. I've told you a hundred times that the Thai water opera demon king you sold on eBay was not authentic. It was just a souvenir sold at the Bangkok airport."

"The solution to your problem," she continued, "is to find humor in the circumstances that trouble you. You're right to turn to The Circular Journey. What it lacks is consistency. My suggestion is to blog every day."

"Wise counsel, Wonder," I replied, and I genuinely meant it. She had touched on a truth that I hold dear but often overlook, as if I have more important things to focus on. "I will post every day."

"You're also doing the right thing by using music to lift your spirits. But you limit your listening to road trips. Why not listen more at home?"

"That's an excellent observation," I said, meaning it wholeheartedly. This piece of wisdom sparked something in me. "Continuous music," I declared.

"And finally," she said, "you're not socializing nearly enough. You seldom go to meetings. Your social life is limited to seeing Lupe and Claudia on random weekdays and Island Irv on Sunday mornings." 

The 'meetings' she referred to are a part of the recovery program for those who have abused alcohol and other substances, like the white powder we used to sprinkle in our hemp doobies.

"There are no lunch-hour meetings here in Waterford," I replied, "so with the Cape Fear bridge closed, I’ll be going to Southport for meetings instead. And just so you know, there are no recovery programs for coffee consumption, so I’ll continue to abuse caffeine--just saying."

"Oh," she said, as if suddenly receiving a jolt of information from the Akashic Record, "exercise and meditation are most important. You have a workout program, but you're not consistent. You need to make it a top priority."

"I refer to those activities as my Power Principles," I replied. "It's something I learned from SuperBetter."

I added that last part because I was beginning to feel like the student, and I much preferred being the teacher. I used to teach. In fact, I used to do a lot of things. Perhaps the core issue was the past tense. I'd feel better being the teacher rather than someone who used to teach.

"It's not important what you call them," she said, "as long as you practice them regularly."

I froze! What was she thinking? Not important what I called them? I watched her lips move as she continued to speak, but I heard nothing she said.

My mind had gone off track, caught in a tangled web of emotions, similar to the time I attempted to turn onto Old Thatcher Road as a teenager while riding my bike with my hands on my head. I don’t need to explain how that ended. 

Yet, my wondrous life partner was offering her wisdom of extraordinary possibilities. If you know me at all, you know that when Wonder speaks, I listen, and not only listen--I act!

First, I checked in with Princess Amy and found her in a good mood. Then, I renewed my commitment to taking sober, rational steps. "Reasonable action" is something we'll need to define as we go along—I don't have much experience with being reasonable. So, stay tuned to The Circular Journey for updates as they unfold.

I have a feeling that I'm onto something big!

Why Write At All?

From my earliest years, I wanted to be a writer. It was not that I had any particular message for humanity. I just wanted to write something light and humorous to make me feel better about my own dreary life and maybe, with a little luck, those stories would help someone with a similar life feel better about theirs.

Beignet Lafayette, Cat of the Year for 5 consecutive years.

There was a brief period in my late teen years when my writing teachers in school convinced me that I had some talent and should keep writing. Their encouragement, which I am grateful for, allowed me to think that a muse had called to me and was silently urging me to share the stories in my head. I realize now that if I ever received a call from a muse, it was a wrong number. 

Thank you P.G. Wodehouse for that bit of wordplay.

It's good that I didn't have a message for the world in mind because, after all these years of writing, still not a glimmer of a message has appeared. Unless I get hotted up in retirement, I fear that humanity will remain a message short.”

Whatever the reason, and even if there is no reason, I continue to write.

I have many writing friends who strive to turn out perfectly crafted stories. But not me. I think of my stories as musical comedies; the music plays in the background. I begin with real-life experiences and then look for ways to make them humorous but there must be something genuinely quirky about the actual event. 

When I find the absurdity, I exaggerate it but I don't make things up just to be funny. That's why I sometimes go through a dry spell with nothing to write.

When I can laugh at the circumstances that cause me anxiety, anger, or embarrassment, I feel that I have some control over my quality of life. If I exaggerate the events to make them funnier, so what? The time for concern is when I can't find anything amusing in my daily life.

And so I don't worry about the exaggeration. The story is still true, just a bit more interesting. The Nac Mac Feagals, a race of wee people created by Terry Pratchett, always offered two stories when asked for an explanation. One story contained only the facts. The one the Wee People preferred had elves and dragons woven into it. When people chose the bare facts version, the Nac Mac Feegle would show their disapproval by exclaiming, 

Crivens!

Don't you agree that the Elves-and-Dragon version offers greater possibility for entertainment? And if fantasy doesn't fit in the story, you can never go wrong by substituting cats for elves and dragons.

I suppose the greatest benefit that comes from fictionalizing my daily life is that it allows me to distance myself from the uncomfortable nearness of dark, foreboding thoughts.

In that calm, friendly, sometimes funny space that comes from detachment, I can find hope for today and purpose for tomorrow.

I'm On My Way

Don't know where I'm going, but I know where I've been. I don't know where I'm going, but I know I'm on my way.

The Circular Journey is a blog that I use as a sort of journal to record my attempts at becoming a better version of me. And yes, despite the numerous indications to the contrary, I do try to become a better at being me. I like to think I'm escaping the limitations of yesterday. 

Despite what Marie Forleo, Gary Vee, and  Seth Godin would have me believe, as inspiring as they certainly are, progress is a slow, difficult, and inconsistent process. It also, for some mysterious reason, causes me to write long, rambling sentences.

Sarah Hall assures me that there is a vast, universal intelligence that loves me and wants only what's best for me. That intelligence is bombarding the entire world with a loving energy that will upgrade our chakras and help us to achieve a higher level of consciousness. 

I'm not sure what's meant by a higher level of consciousness. Does it mean that more of us are becoming twee? I like to think so.

Whatever is meant by that higher-level stuff, it makes me feel better to hear her say it even though I don't know what she's talking about.

And even though I like to listen to her messages from the angels, the help we receive, assuming that we are receiving something, from this all-loving and all-powerful being doesn't make the process any easier or faster.

It would be so nice to say a few affirmations, declare a clear, coherent intention, and become transformed into a new and better mindset. The way they do in movies.

The gist of the matter, for me at least, is that I don't know where I'm going. Not really. I do know where I've been and I didn't like it there. Until I find my Camelot, I'll keep working step by step on my self-improvement journey, which I like to call, The Circular Journey. 

I'm on my way! Fierce Qigong!