A damp Monday afternoon last week found me in my usual booth near the window but not too near the door at the café on the corner of Highway 421 and Independence Avenue. My coffee, which aspired to be a blonde roast, had instead slipped into the neighborhood of burnt barbecue. I sipped it with the resignation of a man who has long since stopped expecting life to deliver on its promises.
It was an unremarkable moment, yet suddenly, as if struck by divine inspiration—or perhaps just heartburn caused by the coffee—I remembered a recommendation from Dr. Coast, my therapist. In our last session, she suggested that my life could be vastly improved with one of those artificial intelligence mental health apps. Apparently, they’re all the rage, much like kale smoothies and minimalist furniture.
Now, to be clear, I wasn’t looking for one of those apps that peddle serenity through zen-inspired synthesized music and stock photos of people gazing wistfully at the horizon. No, I needed an app designed to navigate the tangled jungle that Dr. Coast refers to as my mental state. Preferably an app equipped with a machete.
Dr. Coast is quite fascinated by the rise of artificial intelligence. Her recommendation came to her during our last session when she advised me to "Take a deep breath," and I, in the fog of my existential crisis, heard, "Take a deep nap." An easy mistake to make, really, and arguably the superior option.
A quick Google search turned up the very app she'd named. The advert proudly described it as a "breakthrough in the mental health space." It promised "instant clarity and algorithmic wisdom," which, to my caffeine-addled mind, sounded just the ticket.
The tagline, "Instant results with minimal effort," was the clincher. As a modern man, I hold certain principles dear, one of them being that if enlightenment can be achieved without making an effort, all the better. I’m sure you share my sensibilities. After all, you’re a regular here on The Circular Journey, so we’re kindred spirits of sorts.
In the blink of an eye, I downloaded the app, canceled my therapy appointment, and prepared to bask in the glow of my new, algorithmically-enhanced mental clarity.
I won’t spoil the ending, but allow me to provide a touch of foreshadowing: picture a bulldozer in a china shop, wearing a blindfold, and whistling merrily.
One week later, I was back in therapy with Dr. Coast, grateful to be in the presence of someone who did not suggest chanting verbal mudras for serenity or rearranging my bookshelf for emotional realignment. It had been a trying time.
Over the week, I learned that life’s deepest questions cannot be answered by an AI-powered oracle, no matter how many reassuring push notifications it sends. The truth, as it turns out, is far simpler: real conversation, human connection, and the occasional chat with a cat are the true pillars of emotional well-being.
A profound revelation, no doubt. However, when Dr. Coast suggested I delete the app—presumably to avoid being bested by a talking algorithm—I hesitated. That’s right, I demurred. Not because the app had worked wonders (quite the opposite), but because the entire fiasco had led me to an even greater epiphany:
Not all of life’s complexities are solved in therapy. Sometimes, the path to enlightenment involves outdoor escapades, physical challenges, or noble pursuits like learning a new language, documenting local graffiti, or launching a highly questionable AI experiment just to see what happens.
Most importantly, the best approach to mental well-being is rarely a binary choice. It’s a grand, multifaceted adventure. And no matter which path you take, you must include the holy trinity of happiness: a good cup of tea, a hearty laugh, and a friend who doesn’t judge you for occasionally talking to your shoes.
One final thought: While human therapists have the distinct advantage of warm handshakes and sympathetic nods, they do not, regrettably, come with a convenient FAQ section. Apps, for their part, cannot provide the comfort of a reassuring pat on the shoulder or a well-timed "There, there."
There’s a word for that, but it escapes me at the moment. No doubt, Wonder will know.