"Why is your bed a wreck every morning?" asked Ms. Wonder when I finally stumbled into the kitchen.
It was tough to come up with a sensible answer, but not because of the question. All questions are hard to answer within the first hour of waking up. I did my best under the circumstances.
"My life is a struggle, Poopsie. And not just during my waking hours. I struggle all night too."
It was a fair suggestion. Dr. Coast is my therapist, and I admit that it sounded appealing, but I realized she had gotten the wrong impression.
"It's not anxiety and depression that I wrestle with all night," I said. "It's the Morrigan sisters."
"The Morgan sisters?" she mused.
"No, Poopsie. You're thinking of the Morgan sisters who were very popular in American high society in the first half of the twentieth century."
"There was high society in the United States?" she asked.
"It was a brief period," I said. "But the Morrigan is a terrible Celtic triple goddess from the Iron Age."
"That's why you don't sleep well!" she exclaimed with a little more heat than I was prepared for. It was sweet heat but a surprise nonetheless. Do people still say 'nonetheless'?
"I know who Morrigan is," she said. "You're staying up late playing Darkstalker, aren't you?"
"No, Poopsie," I said. "You're thinking of Morrigan Aensland, the adopted daughter of the demon king. I'm talking about the Celtic triple goddess popular in the Iron Age."
"How do you know about Morrigan Aensland if you don't play the video game?"
"I didn't say I never play. I said the games don't keep me up late."
"I'm not convinced," she said, "but let's set that aside for now. How does the triple goddess fit into your dreams? Be careful how you answer because I'm going to Google 'triple goddess.'"
"Before we get into it, Wonder, I want to tell you about the Magnificent Morgan Sisters—that's what they were called in the 1940s."
"Stop avoiding the question," she said with more noticeable heat. It was touching, I admit, but my mind was on a different track.
"The photographer Cecil Beaton," I began, "described the twin sisters as 'alike as two magnolias,' with marble complexions, raven tresses, and flowing dresses. He said they diffuse an atmosphere of hothouse elegance and lacy femininity."
Wonder raised a hand, and she did it with authority. "Stop," she said. "Forget the Magnificent Morgans. Get to the Morrigan, please, or I'm zooming out of here."
"Sure," I said, "but I'm going to use that line about hothouse elegance in a blog post soon."
She shot out of her chair and was three steps up the staircase before I could stop her.
"Wonder, the Morrigan are three sisters, Mabd, Macha, and Nemain, who rule disharmony, war, and death. Bad is what they are."
"Just to be clear," she said, "we're talking about ancient Irish mythology, right?"
"We're talking about my darkest dreams. Each night for the past week, I've dreamed of being trapped in an escape room. No matter how many clues I find and doors I open, there's another obstacle waiting for me on the other side, and the obstacles are the work of the Morrigan."
"I hear them, whispering and laughing--taunting me. I struggle to escape, but my efforts only get me wrapped up in bedclothes. I can appreciate what it was like for Jacob to wrestle the angel until daybreak. He wrestled one, but I wrestle three."
"What angels?"
"Wonder! You know about Jacob and the angel wrestling until daybreak."
"She raised a questioning eyebrow and said, "Are you making this up?"
"Documented fact," I said. "Jacob received a blessing for his ordeal, but all I get is a rumpled bed."
"And you expect me to accept all that drivel as an answer to my question? Do you want to know what I think? I think you're struggling with Princess Amy all night. That's what I think."
"It's a reasonable explanation," I said. "But I hear the Morrigan whispering, laughing, taunting. If it happens again tonight, I'll challenge Amy just in case she has something to do with it."
"But no matter how it turns out, I will use Cecil Beaton's gag in my next blog post. Hothouse elegance and lacy femininity! Can you imagine? I've got to Google hothouse elegance right now."