It was another typically beautiful morning in Waterford on the eve of Labor Day weekend, the weekend that marks the unofficial end of summer and drives people who didn't get their fill to go all out and make up for lost time.
People were enjoying lunch and spirits in places with names like Brunswick Beer & Cider and Aw, Shucks! Patrons hearing the commotion outdoors carried their drinks outside to watch the routine mess on the highway. It's a popular pastime in an otherwise quiet community.
The road was snarled to the horizon in both directions. It was all standard procedure: holiday weekend traffic congestion, then a chain reaction of driver distraction and running red lights. The road looked more like a parking lot than a highway.
I looked in the direction of sirens, curious to know what now. “Someone needs to do something about that road," I said.
Anyone unsure of the difference in attitude between a trained martial artist and a spoiled royal brat could have picked up a few pointers listening to the conversation between yours truly and the little gargoyle known as Princess Amy, that little cluster of gray cells that pretends to regulate my emotions.
"Loaded grocery carts are lined up all the way out the doors of Harris Teeter!" she whined. "The checkout lines must be miles long."
"No, Amy," I said in a reassuring tone, "what you see are only a few shoppers waiting to get inside the store."
"They're backed up to the UPS Store," she said but I didn't respond. Leading by example was what I hoped to do. Besides, the spectacle was as bad as I've seen. I'm sure if you'd been a shopper inside the store trying to choose a lane to pay for your foodstuffs, you might have agreed with Amy.
We looked up at the sound of rotors coming over the roof of Fresh Mex to see a chopper clear the roof and land in the parking lot outside the Hallmark Store. Customers wandered out of Wok and Roll, the Chinese takeout place to see what it was all about.
The engines stopped and when the rotors slowed, the pilot got out and took off her helmet. A patron from the Wok approached her and I could hear them over the noise of the rotating blades. "What's going on?" he said.
"Car fire caught the brush on Highway 87. We just sat down here to let the engines cool."
"Oh, my God," said Amy. "From bad to ridiculous. Feels like we're about to go over Niagra Falls in a barrel."
"Amy," I said. "It's a holiday weekend here in paradise but I don't believe you're enjoying yourself. Do try to get into the holiday spirit. Don't you enjoy spreading goodness and light?"
"I'll tell you what you can do with your goodness and light," she said. And she did too. Explicitly. But the Genome code doesn't allow for the spreading of negative energy.
I much prefer, in the interest of goodness and light, to wish you a happy and joyous Labor Day Weekend.