"Do you have a minute?" I said. "What I have to say may shock you."
"I doubt that I'll be shaken and I bet you hold me spellbound," she said.
"Alright, if you insist. The whole thing began as I sat brooding at a table outside Casa Blanca Cafe. It wasn't my normal brood. It was a deeper, more focused angst brought on by your insistence that I interview mental health therapists today."
"It's for your own good," she said.
"I'd finished two double espressos and the mood hadn't budged. Even my new beret didn't help. Don't misunderstand, the beret lifted my spirits far above the level of no beret, but I had my heart set on one of those red jobs the French revolutionaries wore to signify their disapproval of the status quo."
She nodded in a meaningful and supportive way as if to say that she understood my disappointment but that she was going to ignore the reference to the French imbroglio.
"I gradually became aware of a commotion taking place in the alley behind the cafe," I said, "and I decided to investigate. But when I got to the alley, all was strangely quiet."
"I walked on and eventually made my way to the Memorial Dunes, with a thought to honoring the memory of our Once and Future Tribe--the cats who wait for us at the Rainbow Bridge."
"That's new terminology," she said, "the Once and Future Tribe, but tell me about that later. What happened next?"
"Well, for some reason, I thought of the black-and-white feral cat that I used to see below the footbridge in Briar Creek in Durham."
"What made you think of him?"
"It had something to do with the arrival of Princess Amy."
"Of course, Amy", she said. "Don't tell me, let me guess. Did she come speeding down the beach in her panel truck?"
"Oh she did make another of her dramatic entrances but not in her signature truck wreck. This time she washed up in the surf and began flopping around like a confused mackerel. I don't know why. Perhaps just a way of getting my attention."
"You don't see that every day," said The Wonder.
"That's what I said."
"Then what?"
"I complimented her on her entry, thinking that it might soften her attitude."
"Good thinking. Did it work?"
"It seemed to work because instead of yelling something at me like, Run for your life, she simply thanked me and said that she felt better for it."
"Excellent."
"But then she started messing with my head."
"Listen up!", she said. "You've been chosen as the dark minion for a special job."
"Dark minion!" said the Wonder. "That is interesting. Tell me more."
"I couldn't think what she might be talking about. I'd never heard this dark minion stuff from her before, and so I could only say, I have?"
"Yes, but not the minion of revolution and reconstruction that you were hoping for," she said. You're the chosen agent of redirection, disruption, and subterfuge.
"Those were her exact words?" said Wonder. "Were you hoping to be the minion of revolution and whatever she said?"
"I didn't know I'd ever said it out loud," I said.
"Then what happened?"
"She said it was time for me to get to work. She said I should pay close attention to anything she tells me.
"Don't ask why," she said. "Just do what I tell you and everything will be fine."
"Right," said Wonder, "like that's going to happen."
"Then when I started asking her, What if..., she interrupted to say that I should let her worry about that."
"And when I asked, Yes, but what about..."
"I'll take care of it, she said."
"I stared at her in silence not knowing what to say next but then she said, Well? as though she expected me to agree to her terms."
"But then, Poopsie, my mind suddenly became clear and my heart swelled. It may have had something to do with the recent memorial to our Tribe. But wherever the resolve originated, I decided that today would be the first day of a new life. I would begin that better life that I've wrestled with for the last several months."
"Here's what I'm going to do, Princess, I said to Amy. I'm going to run for my life. It's just the thing you've often advised it."
"What?" she said in an incredulous tone leading me to believe that my words had struck a cord."
"That's right, old girl. You've often urged me to do it and from now on, I'm going to run and when I run, you're going to run with me."
"No, absolutely not, you can't do any running today, she said. "You'll run when I tell you."
"I'm running, I told her, and I'm going to get aerobic."
"No, no, no! she said. Running raises the endorphins and that's not allowed.
"Oh, but I'll feel better and so will you and that means you won't be in control."
"Don't do it, she demanded."
"Here we go, I said, and with those words, I began an easy jog. Five minutes later, Amy was resting peacefully."
"I continued to jog, and eventually, we were strolling arm in arm. Poopsie, I believe this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship."
"Who would have imagined it," said the Wonder, "you and Amy arm in arm. Just the way it happens in the movies."