"Lupe!" I said. "I'm surprisingly happy to see you."
"You mean that having me here is a happy surprise for you," she said.
"Do I?" I said. "Oh never mind that. Sit. I have something I'd like to run up your flag pole."
"I'm only 15," she said.
"Lupe, you're looking at a man who is living in the Twilight Zone."
"I'll bet it's nothing more than quantum fluctuations," she said.
"Can I get you something?" asked a nearby voice.
"A double cappuccino, please," said the godneice.
"Sir?" asked the barista.
"Oh, yes," I said. "A flat white with oat milk, thank you."
"You were saying?" said Lupe.
"Lupe, the most unusual things have been happening," I said. "Synchronistic events have been occurring at abnormal frequency."
"There are so many things wrong with what you just said that I don't know where to begin," she said.
"Then don't," I said. "Let me give you just a few examples."
"No need," she said. "I understand well enough that you've experienced almost simultaneous occurrences of events that seem significantly related but have no discernable causal relationship."
I must have taken on an expression of lost in translation because without waiting for a reply she said, "Synchronistic events have been occurring at abnormal frequency."
"Exactly!" I said.
"Well, you're in luck," she said, "because I watched the latest episode of Hack Your Mind on YouTube last night and the topic was Quantum Consciousness. I'll bet what you're experiencing is nothing more than your mind playing tricks on you."
"One double cappuccino and one flat white," said the barista placing the cups on the table.
"Excuse me," I said. "Did I ask for oat milk?."
"No you didn't," she said. "I'll remake it for you."
"Are you saying that I don't actually see what I think I see?"
"According to Dr. Mindbender, hallucinations are often the result of stress. Have you tried relaxation techniques like deep breathing for example?"
"I'm taking deep breaths now," I said. "It seems necessary to get through this conversation."
"Good," she said after sipping her cappuccino, "Take three is my suggestion. And then close your eyes and visualize a peaceful beach. Hear the soothing sounds of the surf and the call of seagulls."
"Ok, I closed my eyes and all I saw were sandcastles with the faces of flying fish."
"Ah," she said, "not a problem. Dr. Dreamweaver teaches us to remain calm in the face of the bizarre and ask the hallucinations to explain the message they have for us."
"I've tried that and all I get is an order for coffee. And speaking of coffee, where's mine?"
"My goodness, you are demanding this morning, aren't you?"
"I'm not demanding this morning, I have this morning. What I'm demanding is caffeine."
"Chill, brah, I'll get your coffee," she said as she stood and headed for the Order Here spot.
"You're a dear, Lupe. I'm so happy that you've finally rallied round."
"I'm always looking out for you, you helpless jamoke," she said. "You just don't always see it."
"Maybe I should close my eyes and take more deep breaths," I said.
"What you need to do, is embrace the absurdity of life's little quirks and stop making a big deal out of every little thing."
"How old did you say you are?" I said.
"Fifteen."
"Is everyone your age as smart as you?" I said.
"We rage against Babylon," she said, "and that pays dividends. But only if you pay attention."