Hotel California of Blogs

As a member of the elite chosen group who's been awarded a mood disorder, I have enough trouble navigating life on days that are generally smooth. When the going gets tough, I usually end up in a heap on the floor.

                     

You're probably wondering how you can qualify for a touch of madness too and I wish I could help but, unfortunately, the prerequisites are not published anywhere that I know about. The whole thing is probably handled by one of those secret societies we hear so much about these days.

Even without a mood disorder, you may find yourself teetering on the edge. Simply put, life comes hard and fast, and if you're not ready for it, your mood can go from sitting on top of the world to the bargain basement with no stops in between.

But fear not, my friends! I've found a way to navigate the absurdities of life and I'm here to share my secrets with you. You see, I've discovered that the key to surviving the constant barrage of life's demands is to find a bit of humor in it all. Like a beacon in the darkness, a good laugh can guide us through the darkest days.

That's why I write this blog, to share the moments of levity that I find in my daily life. From the ridiculous conversations I overhear on the bus, to the hilariously bad customer service I receive, I share it here on these pages. My hope is that by sharing my laughter, I can help you find a little bit of joy in your own life.

I don't want to give you the wrong idea; finding something to laugh about when you're up to your neck in the soup isn't always easy. But with a little experience, it gets easier, and when you can smile about it, you're in a better position to cope.

And so I write about my real life but try to emphasize the lighter side. My hope is that you will find something in what I write to make you smile too.

So come along for the ride, and let's explore the world of stupid humans together. Who knows, you might just find that the images and scenes I share will hold meaning for you too, and together we'll create a world that's more Zen than the usual reality.

Let me caution you that once you become accustomed to my world, there will be no going back. It's like the Hotel California of blogs, you can check out but you can never leave.

Zen As All Get Out!

The morning meditation in Brunswick Forest was interrupted by a landscape crew performing clean-up. I eyed this rabble with disapproval, resenting the universal calm that enveloped the horde at a time when, thanks to that little almond-eyed Princess Amy deep inside my brain, I felt like one of those heroes in a Greek tragedy pursued by the Furies.

After giving thought to the idea of bunging a few bricks into the midst of leaf blowers and lawnmowers, I instead gave up the qigong ghost and headed to the local caffeine den.

Ankling toward the bar, I noticed the headlines on the Wilmington Star News lamenting the latest abomination of the North Carolina legislature and I felt Princess Amy hotting up in the darkest recesses of my mind. She was getting rowdy. I hurried toward the bar hoping that a steaming cup of Jah's Mercy would restore my sangfroid. It was not to be.

"Where have you been?" said Amy Normal (no relation to Princess Amy) the part-time barista and Backup Mistress of the Castle Street Arts District Night, for it was she taking up space behind the Order Here sign. "I haven't seen you in days."

"Oh?" I said. The comeback, I am fully aware, was lacking the usual Genome flair but don't forget those Furies who, even now, were creeping ever closer like a gang of Aunts.

"It's no good saying, 'Oh' with that tone of voice as though you don't give a damn," she said. "Consider the planets, the solar system, the universal plan for spiritual enlightenment." She embellished the last remark by lifting a hand upward, as though we could see planets and whatnot from inside the coffee shop.

"Enlightenment?" I repeated, still feeling the Furies breathing down my neck. "Amy, I have just now left Brunswick Forest where I was performing my morning Qigong, but the landscape crew decided to show up and ruin my serenity with their leaf blowers and hedge trimmers."

"Oh, you and your Qigong," she said, rolling her eyes. "Why don't you just stick to yoga like normal people?"

"Yoga is for basic people," I retorted, trying to regain my composure. "Qigong is a spiritual practice that connects the body, mind, and breath. It's like yoga, but with more Kung Fu."

"Whatever you say, sensei," she said with a smirk. "But honestly, I think you're just using it as an excuse to avoid reality."

I couldn't deny that there was some truth to her words. I'd been feeling a bit down lately, and Qigong had become my escape vehicle. Actually, my entire life has recently become a daydream of sorts, the better to ward off the coming Artificial Intelligence insurgence. But with the Furies still hot on my heels, I decided to take her advice and face reality head-on, if only for a day.

"You may be right, Amy," I said, surrendering to the inevitable. "I will deal with the Furies, and the North Carolina legislature, and Princess Amy. I swear it. But first, I need a steaming cup of brew-ha-ha to help me through the day."

"That's more like it," she said, smiling as she prepared my order. "And who knows, maybe you'll find some peace and tranquility in the chaos of reality."

With my steaming cup of globally grown but locally roasted in hand, I left the coffee shop feeling more like a hero and less like a victim of Greek tragedy. As I walked through the streets of Brunswick, I couldn't help but think that sometimes, reality can be just as Zen as Qigong.