She gave me that look of hers that says, You saw me about an hour ago.
'I know that we had breakfast together; it's just that I seldom see you at this hour of the morning.'
This time her response was to engage in one of those eye-rolling frenzies that I've mentioned so many times before. I considered nicking her for diverting from an appropriate response but decided to let it go. There were more important concerns.
'Wonder,' said, 'My friends seem to agree that I talk too much and it's disturbing because I'm sure I've heard it from reliable sources that listening, not talking, is the way to win friends and influence people.'
'And influencing people is what makes you happy?' she said.
'Why do you think I talk so much if not to influence people?'
'Splain, s'il vous plait,' she said because she's cosmopolitan like that.
'Simple,' I said, 'when I see a situation that demands strong action, I exhort others to take that action and rectify the situation. That requires a lot of speech. Is rectify the correct word?'
'As in to convert alternating current to direct current?' she said and now it was my turn to give her a look.
'Wonder!' I said for the second time that morning.
'Oh, all right,' she said. 'Just a little joke; yes, rectify is the word.'
'Good,' I said, more than a little pleased with myself because rectify was the word of the day.'
'Why is it important that someone else take action? Why not you?' she said and I almost scoffed; she knows full well that taking action is dangerous for me and innocent bystanders if there are any. But I bottled the scoff just in time. After all, she was only trying to be helpful.
'You know why,' I said, 'but it's nice of you to pretend that you think I'm normal.'
I took a breath and steeled myself to speak of Princess Amy for the first time that day.
'You will agree that it's dangerous for me to take action in circumstances that I find troubling. You are aware that my limbic system creeps up on me like a favorite cousin, builds my confidence to the sticking point, and then gives me a little shove toward the fray with a sic 'em boy or two. The next thing I know I'm standing in front of the judge who fines me $50.00 and orders me to make restitution for damages.'
'You do remind me of a tank rolling through a minefield,' she said.
'Wonder!' I said. 'You're supposed to be on my side. And besides,' I said becoming a little philosophical, 'Rank is but a penny stamp and a man is a man for all that.'
'Wow! I'm impressed,' she said, with a look that reflected something like pride in her man.
'Not one of mine,' I admitted. 'Just something I heard somewhere and liked so much that I throw it into the conversation now and then. Probably Shakespeare.'
'Burns,' she said.
'Do you think so?' I said, 'My apologies then, Poopsie, I didn't mean to be abrasive.'
'No,' she said, 'the poet, Robert Burns.'
'Oh good lord!' I said. 'Poetry! Thank you for pointing it out. In that case, I'll remove it from the script.'
'I'm sorry if my words were critical before,' she said.
'Not at all, Wonder, I said. 'It's the Genome way, of course, when offered a piece of grit, his oyster constitution goes to work and builds it into a pearl richer than all his tribe.'
'Well put!' she said.
'Fierce Qigong!' I said.