The countryside is in full bloom at this late date in spring. The beginning of summer, for those of us who binge on the season, is only three weeks away. Already the geese in Lake Brunswick are proudly leading a half-dozen goslings around, and the inaugural garage sale was held a few weekends back.
I'm confident that Spring has completed her relocation to the Crescent Coast.
It's mornings like this that make one feel close to heaven, and, if you've been following this blog for more than a day, you're aware that it's exactly that kind of feeling that opens us up to the Trickster's practical jokes.
As I neared the front door of Native Grounds, I was feeling full of the energizing bunny. My step was peppy and I moved with lithesome grace, or something approximating lithesome grace.
On mornings like this, I greet everyone I see with a boisterous Good Morning! I wave to the baristas in the back kitchen and I shake hands with the other customers. On occasion, I've even been known to slap backs and elbow ribs.
In short, I'm a nuisance to everyone I encounter and, naturally, this behavior has lost me a great many friends. But still, if you observe my face, you will notice that my eyes wear a smile even if the lips don't. In a nutshell, I'm compassionate and encouraging.
This morning, like many before it, found me on a mission to fetch a cup of Jah's Mercy for Ms. Wonder. That mission never fails to remind me of an episode of the TV show, Frasier; the one that begins with Niles ordering a latte in Cafe Nervosa. I laugh just thinking about it and this morning was no different.
I decided to share this bit of humor with the young barista who was waiting to take my order.
"Good morning," she said, "what can I get you?"
"Have you ever watched Frasier on TV?" I asked because I realize that the 20th century is ancient history to large and growing segment of the public.
"What's the name of it?" she said.
"Ah," I said, realizing that I needed another lead-in.
"It's an old television show," I said, "and there's a scene in a coffee shop when Nile's coffee order gets garbled because he has to have it just so."
"Who's Miles?" she asked.
"Niles," I said.
"Yeah, who is he?" she said.
I'd made a blunder with the introduction, I realized, but we're not always perfectly eloquent, are we? Still, it's always best to at least get the ball over the net, as my French tutor is fond of saying. I tried to recover.
"You see, Niles asked for a double short, no-foam, low-fat latte but when the order was verbally passed on to the person who would actually make the drink, it was described as a double short, no-fat, low-foam latte."
Her face took on a sort of pained expression. The eyebrows were wedged together and the nose was scrunched. I didn't feel good about it at all. Obviously, I'd lobbed the ball straight into the net again.
"You see, the no-foam, low-fat part of the order had become no-fat, low-foam," I said hoping to clear up the confusion.
"She glanced at the barista behind the muffin display with an expression that seemed to say, 'Please help me.'
"Oh, well," I said, "never mind. An on-location situation." But my retraction didn't seem to help her feel any better about it. I'm certain she was thinking how nice it would be to have a magic wand in her pocket.
I decided to try a different tack completely. "I've always wondered about that order," I said, "just what is a double short latte anyway?"
She shook her head, "I don't know," she said. "What can I get for you?"
In my Fierce Qigong classes, I encourage students to embrace the adage that a person should always know his limits and acknowledge when it's time to cut his losses and run for it.
"Oh, I'll just have a double cappuccino to go," I said.
The double capp was just what the doctor prescribed and was an excellent morning pick-me-up for the drive back home. When I finished it, I drove back to the cafe to get another for Ms. Wonder because, due to the double-short imbroglio, I'd completely forgotten to get hers.
I was relieved to see that the first barista was nowhere in sight and I didn't waste any time with the Frasier small talk. Just between us, I think I watch too many Frasier reruns.