Before we begin, I want you to know that you'll need to suspend disbelief again because this post, on merit alone, is completely unbelievable. But I know that you know that I'd never mislead my community. That said, enjoy the ride, and don't be throwing anything out the window.
This morning on my way to Brunswick Forest for my daily constitutional, I detoured to Port City Java for a cup of the needful. Entering the drive-thru, I turned the volume down on the satellite radio just as Nancy Sinatra and Lee Hazlewood began singing Jackson.
Jackson was playing on the satellite radio in my car as we entered the drive-thru lane at Port City Java. We got married in a fever, hotter than a pepper sprout, is the way the song begins. You may be familiar with it too. I turned the volume down to place my order and when I turned it up again, the song had ended and the disc-jockey was talking about Jackson, the town, not the song.
What the digital-vinyl spinner actually said is lost to me now but in essence, he said, "It's 75 degrees in Jackson, Tennessee, today, home of my good friend Wink Martindale."
Now in the song, the location of Jackson is never specified but, from the first time I heard it, I assumed Jackson, Mississippi, and that's been my assumption ever since. I don't know why. Does that make me a bad Tennessean?
I wondered if the disc jockey had segued from Jackson, MS, into Jackson, TN, while I had the volume turned down. Later, I learned that the songwriters didn't have a specific Jackson in mind but somehow the song has become associated with Jackson, Tennessee. I never knew.
In a minute or two, I was in the pine grove at Brunswick Forest and was listening to the same radio station but on my phone app. The app was not playing the "live" program because I'd chosen to run it back to an earlier point, so as not to miss anything. In another few minutes, Jackson began playing once more. I paid close attention to the end of the song to hear everything Plash said about Jackson. Plash is the morning host of 60's Gold on SiriusXM.
I heard him right the first time. Now I began to wonder why I'd always assumed Jackson. But that's not the subject of this post. I apologize for allowing myself to drift onto the shoulder again. But don't you worry, I'm safely back on the road again now.
I was nearing the end of my walk when I noticed something dark and wet near the bank. I used the word "bank" here to mean the shoreline of the lake. You may not use that word so I thought it best to explain. Sounded like I was referring to a financial institution, even to me.
As I say, nearing the end of my walk I saw something dark and wet on a large rock near the shoreline. Large turtle, I wondered. Alligator? It started me thinking of cryptids, a favorite subject of mine. You probably remember the Creature of Lake Jordan. If not, search this blog for those keywords. I recommend it highly but don't read it at bedtime.
The dark, wet cryptid turned out to be a gathering of turtles. What is a gathering of turtles called? The word you're looking for is bale. That's right. I don't know why.
I didn't want to disturb their basking. I don't like it when anyone disturbs mine and I believe in Do Unto Others. That's right, turtles have inalienable rights too. For that matter, so do cryptids.
Oh, look it up, for heaven's sake.
And so, getting to the point, I wanted a photo and began messing with my phone camera. No luck. I was too far away but I did manage to fat-finger my phone. Please, you know what fat-fingering is, right? It's when you intend to push that button but push a different button instead. I fat-finger my phone's functions all the time and get unintended results. It'll get me in trouble one day but since I'm in trouble every day. Why worry?
The unintended result I got there on the shore of the lake was that my SiriusXM app began playing a station I'd never listened to before. And the song that was playing...can you guess? That's right! You're quick. Jackson was playing but it was coming to an end. And then the guess host of this morning's program said, "Jackson! It's a great place."
Wow! The Jackson motif again. But that's not all. The guest host who played the song and spoke those words was Nancy Sinatra! I know! You're beginning to question this story now, aren't you? I don't blame you. Told you it was unbelievable. But it's true!
It doesn't end here.
On my way home, thinking about the Jackson mystery, I stopped at my favorite thrift store. You remember my love for thrifting and the recent Soul Merchant thing. Inside the store, I felt drawn to the hard goods aisle, and browsing the shelves with nothing specific, my attention was suddenly attracted to a small figurine.
The little woodpecker was wearing overalls and had a hammer in one hand. He seemed to be working as a carpenter. His bill was run through a small piece of wood. Whimsical. Made me smile. I remember thinking, If ever there was a soul vessel, this woodpecker would be one.
Don't change channels just yet. We're still talking about Jackson and this part is the best part.
Well, I bought the little woodpecker, whose name is Woodrow according to the plaque. I thought I'd do a little research just to know what I'd purchased. I wondered if it was vintage, where it was made, that sort of thing. It didn't take long because all I needed to know was on the bottom.
Turns out to be a limited edition, hand-painted, little tchotchke. The name of the piece is "Experiencing Technical Difficulties." It's cute and I'll keep it on my desk to brighten my day when I'm feeling down. But the punchline to this entire post is this:
The original sales sticker from the store that sold it is on the bottom too. It reads,
Jackson Cards and Plants (a former business in Jackson, Tennessee)
I know! Right? And that's not all. It's only lunchtime as I write this and I'm sure there's going to be more of this Jackson motif in the afternoon. It just goes to show once more that Shakespeare had it right all along:
There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy. ~~ Hamlet
And that goes for cryptids too. I'm going to find the Creature of the Brunswick Lagoons. You just wait for that post.