Something has been bothering me--causing me not a little frustration--for quite a long while. It seems that I've been lost in let's remember. Truth be known, I've gotten my fill of it; more than the recommended dose for the average adult in my opinion.
Billy Joel wrote the song, Keeping The Faith, and in that song I feel that he speaks for me when he says, "...I would not be here now if I never had the hunger. And I'm not ashamed to say the wild boys were my friends... Cause I never felt the desire 'till their music set me on fire and then I was saved... That's why I'm keeping the faith."
You see, it's like this: I feel that I'm lost in the enchanted forest at the End Of Days. You realize that I speak metaphorically; there's no enchanted forest in Brunswick County. On the other hand, End of Days seems fitting for the circumstances; I'm feeling older and missing my younger days. So let's take that one literally and get on with it.
As I was saying, here I am in the enchanted forest with lots of paths to follow, and each path has a barker (think of the barker as an influencer) who is exhorting me to step right out onto this path and manifest my dreams. Open myself to the abundance of the Universe they say. The Law of Attraction will provide me with success and wealth they say no matter how I define those terms (although someone counting 100 dollar bills is shown on the screen while I'm defining success and wealth).
You and I know, however, that we must follow our own personal path and not one that has been made by another. That's right, the quest for the holy grail. Don't worry, I'm not going to bore you with more of that old saw.
And so I've tried this and that, in an attempt to forge my own path. I tried all the usual suspects--meditation, exercise, doing a bit of good to my fellows, expressing gratitude. In other words, I've taken proper steps through proper channels but all in vain.
I discovered years ago that the future works out in my favor when I become willing to turn my will and my life over to a Higher Power who works marvelous wonders in mysterious ways. Or as I've often heard it said, in ways that passeth all understanding.
Feeling that I had nothing left to lose, I decided to go all in. I decided to let go and stop trying to control life. You can linger too long in your dreams. Sometimes it's best to say goodbye to the oldies and look forward to the future, whatever it may bring because tomorrow ain't as bad as it seems.
And so with no thought of turning back, I took my problems to one Who has all knowledge and is able to intercede with Life, the Universe, and Everything on my behalf.
I'm speaking, of course, of Ms. Wonder.
"Poopsie," I said, as she sat down at the breakfast table with the second cup of the steaming brew, "do you know what I want?"
"What do you want?" she said.
"Right," I said, "what I want."
She gave me one of her patented looks. Not pleasant but not unnerving and so I decided to exhort her, like a barker might, by pushing the conversation along. It's a technique we Genomes have developed to grease the wheels of conversation.
"Well," I said. A bit weak I grant you but I had to come up with something quickly.
"Well what?" she said.
"Any ideas?" I said.
"What, if anything, are you talking about?" she said. "And let me warn you that while I may listen to some light drivel over my morning coffee, I will not under any circumstances listen to pure drivel."
This was far from the rally-round-the-flag attitude that I'd hoped for, so I thought I should try a different approach.
"What I mean," I said, "is that I'm developing a plan that will..."
It occurred to me that this was an excellent point in the conversation to try out that new phrase and so I said:
"...lead me to a happy, fulfilling life here at the End of Days."
"And," she said.
"Well, we all know that before anyone can achieve a goal, one must know what one wants," I said.
She gave me a look that's normally reserved for the child who has just dropped her ice cream cone onto the sidewalk and who knows that she can't pick it up but desperately wants to. You know the look I mean.
"You're asking me if I know what you want?" she said.
"Well, who knows me better than you, Poopsie?" I said and I felt pretty good about it too. Nice talking point I thought.
"Here's what I'm going to do," she said. "I'm going to take my coffee upstairs and schedule a few appointments and then I'm going to do my morning yoga."
"Yes?" I said reasoning that yoga would provide her a good opportunity to meditate on my request.
I expected to hear more but she nodded slightly, gathered her goods, and ascended the staircase with lithesome grace. She always does that. It's all the yoga. Good for the grace.
I didn't get the immediate answer that I'd hoped for but that's the way these prayerful requests sometimes work. We get the answer when need it, not when we want it. I think that's right. Seems that I've heard that somewhere. Now, my task is to keep the faith and wait.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm keeping the faith. Yes I am.