'I have a question for you,' she said.
'Let's hear it,' I said without hesitation because even though I knew the Q would be the gateway to some sage advice. Sage advice is something I don't get enough of.
'Are you happy?', she asked.
I admit the question took me by surprise. I wasn't sure what to make of it, but more to the point, I wasn't sure how to answer it. I mused with the intent of giving it mindful attention.
'Did you hear the question?' she said.
'I heard it,' I said, 'but it's not an easy question to answer. It requires careful thought.'
'It's an easy question.' she said. 'You're either happy or you're not.'
'Well, if it's so easy,' I said, 'what's your answer to the question? Are you happy?'
'No,' she said, 'but we're not talking about me. I asked you first. So what's your answer?'
'No, I'm not,' I said and I said it with some topspin.
'Why not?' she asked.
I didn't answer right away. Not because I was musing but because I wasn't sure how deep I wanted to go over breakfast. I finally decided to take it to the limit. One more time.
'Frankly,' I said, 'I'm pissed! There, I've said it. I don't like saying it and I know you don't like hearing it but nothing else says it quite as well.
'Rem acu tetigisti?' she said, remembering to stress the italics but why are you so highly peeved?'
'Why? You know why. I constantly struggle with Princess Amy mucking about with my emotions. It's maddening. Everyone keeps telling me to get help but the only help I find is the fleeting kind. I don't seem to make any real progress.
I meditate, I exercise, I perform qigong and taiji, I work with therapists, and each of them makes me feel better--temporarily. Then Amy tells her little Feagles to start randomly throwing switches on the neurotransmitters.'
'And what are you going to do about it?' she said.
'Do?' I said with a shrug. 'And very well done with that rem acu thing. How do you come up with these things?'
'It's a knack,' she said, 'but don't change the subject. What are you doing about your problems?'
'I'm working on my Evil Plan,' I said. 'That's what I'm doing.'
'Ah,' she said, 'but is working on the plan actually doing something about the problems?'
You're probably thinking to yourself right about now, that living with someone like this Wonder, who sees through the fog and cuts to the quick, may not be as easy as it first seems. Talk about holding you responsible. Talk about taking you to task when the task must be taken.
'I see now,' I said. 'I see what you're getting at. It's that old thing about taking action rather than thinking about it, isn't it?'
'That's right,' she said. 'And it seems to me that forming a plan may be important in the great scheme of things, but even more important is taking action.'
'But don't I need the plan before I take action?'
'I think not,' she said. 'New plans usually don't actually work very well and must be amended after some action or other has taken place. The planned events and results must be updated with the actuals.'
'And so taking action while I'm formulating a plan should result in a more efficient process--one feeds the other.'
'One informs the other,' she said.
'Yes,' I said, that's what I meant to say. It amazes me the way you can come up with these things on the spur of the moment.'
'And so what are you going to do?'
'I'm going to take action,' I said. 'I can't think of exactly what I'll do, off the top of my head, but I can tell you that I'm taking some sort of action.'
'It's not what you do that's most important.' she said, "Doing something--anything--is more important than what you actually do.'
'Didn't Wen The Eternally Surprised say that?'
'That's what you told me,' she said.
'Then stand back, Poopsie,' I said. 'I'm taking action and it just might get messy. Full speed ahead and damn the torpedos.'
'I'd suggest proceeding with caution,' she said but I was already pumped for action and her words were mere background noise.'