"What now," she said.
"Just now, on my return trip from Native Ground, I saw a guy on a skateboard standing in the middle of the street, looking at his phone."
"Hmm," she said, "in the middle of the street?"
"In the turning lane, just gazing at his text messages," I said. "Cars whizzing all around."
"I've always been drawn to skateboard culture--Free Falling, and all that, but not in the middle of Highway 55 during morning rush hour.
"Free Falling isn't about skateboarding," she said," and besides Happy Cats Wellness needs you right now. You can't afford to break any bones."
You are aware, I'm sure, that she referred to our new digital enterprise, the authoritative source of all things that improve health and elevate the happiness of the household mouser.
"You and Island Irv," I said.
"What about me and Island Irv?"
"Irv tells me I'm too old to skateboard, but I say consider the facts. I've already exceeded all expectations for the Genome's demise and I'm not so certain that I don't have another decade of extravagance in me."
I paused here to give the words time to sink in and get the fullest effect. As I watched Ms. Wonder, busy with her eyebrows, I began to wonder if the words had any effect at all. I decided to press the point.
"It's like Galileo and the Jesuits all over again," And I meant it to sting a bit.
"What?" she said.
"You know what I mean, Kepler happened to notice one day that Mars circled the sun and he even mentioned it in one of his New York Times best-selling books."
I waited for her to nod or indicate in some other way that she was following me. It didn't happen. She shrugged instead.
"Well," I said, just a little disappointed, "Galileo ignored Kepler's observation even though he was, at the time, defending himself from Vatican censorship because his very own views suggested that the Earth was not the center of things. You see what I mean?"
"No," she said.
"Ms Wonder! Do put on your thinking cap. The Vatican was telling Galileo to stop spreading nonsense even though it was common knowledge that the Jesuits had made the same observations and that Copernicus had written extensively about them.
"You're driveling," she said, and I didn't like her attitude one bit. Neither did Princess Amy like it and don't make me have to stop here to explain Princess Amy.
"Galileo ignored Copernicus too," I said."
"Did you sleep well last night?" she asked, but once more I pressed on, refusing to be derailed by her questions.
"It's Olber's Paradox, Ekaterina," and you may notice that I used her formal name to emphasize that I was serious and had enough of her attempts to muddle my thoughts. "When you look into the night sky it seems full of stars because that's what you're focusing on. But look again and you see that it is essentially dark. It's a simple observation and yet it has so much meaning, missed by most observers."
I paused again, to look into those emerald-green eyes for a sign that my words were having the desired effect. Nope! Bust again! I didn't like the look in her eye either, and I didn't want to be like Galileo and ignore the evidence that had been placed before me like ripe fruit.
"Will you consider discussing a simple mood stabilizer with your doctor?" she said.
"No, Poopsie, not drugs. Too twentieth century. Gamma-ray bursts are the current thing."
"Gamma-rays is it?" she said.
"Looking into the center of most galaxies is a monster black hole," I said. I don't know why I said it. It may have been anxiety causing me to think that the time was right to say something. Then again, it may have been a whim. The look she now wore is one that I very familiar with. She was looking at me the way a mother might look at a child who just turned the cereal bowl upside down on the dog's head.
"We are doomed," I said, having decided that the time was right for closing remarks. "The end is right around the corner."
After several moments of uncomfortable quiet, she spoke.
"The universe is full of infinite prospects," she said. I mused for a moment or two and nodded in agreement. She went on to say, "And there is limitless time, is there not?"
I nodded again because when Ms. Wonder speaks in a certain tone of voice, one gets quiet and pays attention if one desires to stay out of the quarantine room. I once more mused on her observations and, in the twinkling of an eye, it struck me.
"Nothing to worry about?" I said.
"Nothing," she said. Then she patted me on the shoulder and walked into the other room. I looked into the mirror to see how Amy was taking it. I expected she would take it big and that's just the way she was taking it. She had collapsed into a heap on the floor.
"Everything is going to be alright, Amy," I said trying to reassure her. "You heard Ms Wonder, nothing to worry about."
"There's always something to worry about," Amy said.
"True," I said, "but there's infinite possibilities and limitless time. If only Napoleon had known, things might have turned out differently for him."
It's amazing isn't it, how things that seem to herald the end of the world may turn out to be just what the doctor ordered. I returned to work on Crystal Cove without a single care. Oh, but you probably haven't heard about Crystal Cove. I can't go into it now but it's my new book and you're going to love it. And yes, I know that Wonder suggested I should work on Happy Cats but let it go, dear reader. Put it completely out of your mind. I've got this. Really I do.