"'Good Morning, Poopsie," I said as I entered the sal de ban. I didn't actually see her in all the billowing mist but Uma, the Empress of Chadsford Hall and Queen of Cats, was there on the side of the tub in all her tortoise-shelled glory, and I reasoned that if Uma is present, can Ms. Wonder be far behind.
"Good morning," said a disembodied voice from beyond the curtain of steam.
"Exceptionally clement," she said and I knew that it was going to be a good day if this Poopsie Wonder gave it a good review. A most amazing person, Ms. Wonder. So competent in every respect. I've said it before, and I'll say it again, having a partner like this P. Wonder makes a hell of a difference to a fellow's day.
"Your pilot friend…," she began.
"Bob?" I said.
"Right," she said. "Your pilot friend emailed some information about their flight around the world…"
"The Flight for Life," I said taking care to pronounce the capitals.
"Yes, Flight for Life," she said and I was impressed that she could not only pronounce capital letters but also did a passable job with the italics. "He said they've finished the second leg of the flight and are in Istanbul."
"Ah, Istanbul," I said. "You know Poopsie, I'm in love with the romance of Istanbul. I've never been there but have read so much about it that I feel if I were there, I wouldn't need a map to get around."
"We should go," she said.
"You know best," I said. "If they've arrived in Istanbul, that means they've left Amsterdam, of course. No way to get to Turkey without leaving Amsterdam. And I presume they've been through Paris, at least to stop at a drive-through or two, and then on to, well, on to wherever they've been--Athens, Milan, and Germany of course, although I don't have the exact itinerary in my head."
"They've had quite an exciting time of it," she said and something about the way she left it hanging assured me that there was more to the story.
"Do tell," I said.
"Well, for one thing, while flying to Normandy…"
"Probably to buzz the bathers on the beaches," I interjected. "That would be a hoot wouldn't it?"
"I seriously doubt they are buzzing anybody," she said. "They strive, I'm sure, to remain focused on their objective."
"Spreading the good word about the work of St. Jude Children's Hospital you mean?"
"Of course," she said. "Members of the flight crew were interviewed on national television in Germany according to your friend..."
"Bob," I said. "Bob Bradley."
"And that kind of attention is paramount to increasing awareness world-wide of the services provided by St. Jude to children with cancer, regardless of a family's ability to pay. It's unheard of in most of the world," she said.
"Yes, you're right again, of course. Flying around the world may sound like a lot of fun on the surface but the Flight for Life crew is engaged in serious business. This isn't just one big adventure for them."
"Oh, they've had some adventure," she said. "They had to make an emergency landing because fuel was spilling from a wing tank."
"Spreading the good word about the work of St. Jude Children's Hospital you mean?"
"Of course," she said. "Members of the flight crew were interviewed on national television in Germany according to your friend..."
"Bob," I said. "Bob Bradley."
"And that kind of attention is paramount to increasing awareness world-wide of the services provided by St. Jude to children with cancer, regardless of a family's ability to pay. It's unheard of in most of the world," she said.
"Yes, you're right again, of course. Flying around the world may sound like a lot of fun on the surface but the Flight for Life crew is engaged in serious business. This isn't just one big adventure for them."
"Oh, they've had some adventure," she said. "They had to make an emergency landing because fuel was spilling from a wing tank."
"Poopsie," I said, "you must have gotten the facts mangled. I knew this was going to happen when you started eating so many salads. You've got to get back on a fish diet before the brain cells atrophy. Fuel doesn't just spill from tanks."
"They lost a fuel cap," she said. "And after landing, the only option they had was to empty the tank and move the fuel to another using a 25 litre jug."
"They didn't enjoy that," I said.
"No, but they expected to have a fuel cap waiting for them in Athens," she said.
"I'll keep my fingers crossed that the rest of the flight is uneventful, but you know how it is, Poopsie, one damned thing after another."
"Yeah, well Bob says that they have another problem now. One of the engines has a bent push rod."
I mused about this for a moment or two because it seemed to me that a bent rod of any sort, push or pull, deserves considerable attention."
"I suppose it's not such a big deal, since they have a spare engine, right?"
"Oh, it's still a problem."
I took a few moments to muse again. It seemed to me, considering this and that, and taking everything into account that these round-the-world flyers do live life to the fullest, if you get my meaning.
"Can't fly with a bent whangee, then?" I said.
"You can fly with one engine," she said, "but if the second engine freezes during takeoff, it could spell disaster."
"It could end up being a stinker you mean?" I said.
"If you're below a thousand feet or so," she said.
"Poopsie," I said, "you do know everything don't you? Admit it. Everything."
"You're sweet," she said, "but you know that's not true. Flying just happens to be a favorite topic of mine. I once took a course in aviation weather and one thing led to another. Remember the time I made aerial photographs of that corn maze from the open cockpit of a 1948 Piper Cub? That was a thrill."
"Say, Poopsie," I said, "I have a tip on a stock that's positioned for a 70% upside. Would you invest in a gold mine?"
"Can't advise it," she said. "The mining sector is not sanguine."
"Yes, I see what you mean. What was it my dad used to say--You can't roller skate with a bent whangee--us that what is was? At any rate, keep the money in the old oak chest, then?"
"Why not make a donation," she said. "That way you would send some positive energy to the crew of Flight for Life and you would be helping children with cancer to hope for a better future."
"I see what you mean. Support Flight for Life and do some good for children who desperately need it."
"That's right," she said. "Your friend, Bob, says that spreading awareness of St. Jude and the work they do is as important as raising money to pay for the work--still, the money is needed. So, why not make a donation now."
I wasted no time. It was for me the work of an instant to log onto MRI Charitable Foundation and make a contribution. You can do the same.